Seriously, did you read that whiney drivel from yesterday? ( Here ) Some folks really just should keep their mouths closed and their fingers off the keyboard because all they do is show, literally, how lacking in brains and imagination they are. It was so mortifying to be a part of that conversation and I was just the tool!
So to recap quickly, I have a new owner. I was quite happy tucked away, twice removed from the world inside my tightly packed box with the banded wrapper around it. I was NOT going anywhere. And then this unbelievably OLD lady came into the store “because her phone didn’t work”. (Don’t be offended that I called her old – it’s all relative; but do remember that I have only been on the shelf here for one short week. One. Week. I am the new kid on the block – one of them anyway!)
Over the last two days, I have been dropped, poked, prodded, and plugged into electrical outlets and some gismo in the car. And I have no idea of the number of miles I have traveled and the places I have seen.
But I digress . . . back to the beginning.
I was on the shelf at the Verizon store minding my own business when the clerk came back muttering . . . “she really isn’t going to like white.”
I was relieved. Safe! Or at least for the moment. My happiness lasted for less than a minute because she was back, grabbing me as she put Louise back in her place on the shelf. Drat . . .white is not the “in” color!
So then I was prodded wide awake – no more yawning, plugged in to charge up, coded so I could be connected to the World Wide Web (www – in case you had forgotten) and, in general, treated so informally that I wanted to ask, “What am I, chopped liver?” but I didn’t want to take any words from anyone else’s mouth!
Chatter, chatter, chatter but what I really heard was blah, blah, blah!
Maybe I was headed for an adventure. To ride in a Mercedes Benz or a convertible. Or to a new home by the lake. No sticky fingers from kids PLEASE. I do have my dignity to hold on to! (But have you seen this old lady? I don’t know, but she sounds kinda bossy like she is used to telling others what to do all day!)
So, this app transferred a bunch of apps and pictures so I’m now quite a cluttery mess and then she (my new owner) said, “I don’t think I have all my pictures. And what about Twitter? And where is my Voxer icon? She’s got it rough. Pictures? Twitter? Voxer? She thinks she has worries!
Right before we went out the door, I heard her say that she would bring all her questions back when the new screen protector came in. PUL-E-E-A-A-S-S-E-E! Maybe I could convince her that I was just TOO much phone for her! AHA! What fun for me!
So I spent the last two days as a trickster. Sometimes I worked on command. And sometimes I didn’t work on command. I quickly learned how to avoid being yelled at. There were a couple of choice words that I really did NOT like to hear. So today we’re back in the store.
Listen in on this conversation:
Owner – “I’m just not quite sure that this is the phone for me.”
Me – YAY!
Clerk – “It’s just an upgrade of your old phone. In another week, you will be such an expert that you won’t even remember this conversation.”
Me – No, she’ll forget because she’s old and forgetful. She only has one or two passwords memorized.
Owner – “It doesn’t seem to work all the time . . .”
Clerk – “Let me double check the settings. Re-opening apps and checking to make sure they work is a bit tedious.”
Me – Tedious? BORING! Case closed – whiney drivel!
Which version was more realistic?
Which version was more fun?
Is it possible that there is a third or even a fourth version?
PS. Check out how handsome I am! I could have been one of these old dinosaurs!
Which ones have you used?
Process: As I finished writing yesterday’s post, this author began to wonder if the story could be told from another point of view. She had revisited the two versions of the deer story that was quite popular last March here and here and wondered what could lend itself to that same CCR. A. R. 6 Point of View standard. What do you think? The post was drafted in 15 minutes. The picture from yesterday was recycled with another quick search for a talk bubble. Preview, categories, tagged, and ready to publish but oh, wait, a quick check for pictures of old, old, old phones!
Thank you, Anna, Betsy, Beth, Dana, Deb, Kathleen, Stacey, and Tara. Check out the writers, readers and teachers here. It’s the March Slice of Life Challenge so be ready to read DAILY posts!
That was delightful from start to finish! I truly hope your new phone has more charitable thoughts than that towards you in reality–but you really captured the essence of the conflict between you and the new technology! AND–it made me laugh out loud!
It’s always fun to try to consider more than one point of view – even that of a young “whippersnapper”!
Cute story… stories!. Don’t know which I like better. As for the phones… I’ve used too many of those… lol. My all time favorite was what we called “the brick”–the second row from bottom, second from left. It was strictly for safety (who would want to talk on it… nearly broke your arm they were so heavy). It stayed under the driver’s seat. It would have made a good weapon, especially when it was in your bag and you got a good swing. We still laugh over stories connected to it.
Oh, Alice! I had one of those “bricks” once! It was for emergencies only! Thanks!
I have to say I’m a fan of the anaphoral style you used in your first slice, but I love the point of view change in the second slice. I mean I love it! I was chuckling the whole way through the slice. Fun stuff here! Thanks for a great read so early in the morning.
Thanks, Amy! I had drive time “think time” that really contributed to the story!
You did it again! Amazing! I love the voice you gave your phone–very sassy with a tad of gossip-loving thrown in. Your phone was such a strong character, you had me rooting for her hoping you would take her back to the store for an exchange.
In Iowa a return is possible up to 14 days . . . I think I have too much time already in this phone! We’ll see how this “love/hate” situation develops! ❤
Thanks for commenting!
Loved this piece, Fran – in the voice of your new phone – it is so much fun! I was laughing and sharing with my husband over a hurried breakfast this morning. Hopefully, you are going to love, love, LOVE your new phone soon when you learn all it can do for you – and maybe even like its color even though white is not in!
There are already some features that I do love, but that having to log into every stinking app . . . to get them up and running. I want a “Yes, I put this on my phone and yes, start working” Easy red button!
Glad to have brought some laughter to your house over breakfast. My day is done if you all, the readers, enjoyed this post!
Thanks for the morning smile, Fran. I would hate to think what my phone would say about me. How about a piece from the clerk’s POV?
Ooooooh! Hadn’t thought about the clerk. But I had wondered about the other customer who was probably thinking – “She should get an old dial up phone!”
I, too, would hate to hear a critique of my phone fumbling ways – but, it sounds as though yo are up and running. See you bright and early tomorrow!
Tomorrow, tomorrow, let’s start the day tomorrow . . . I am soooooo excited! ❤
I remember the deer stories and love this one too- something I should try out as I try to eke out more fiction. Your phone will have you trained soon.
I still struggle with fiction. It’s not my “go to” writing. It’s getting easier but still not enough practice to be where it should be!
Love, love the voice of the phone! You’ve created a mentor text for just looking at the various ways font changes to develop meaning/voice. Always fun to read your change in point of view.
as a Gemini . . . more than one point of view often exists within my body. Fun as an author but I’m sure there are other times that people think I’m just really strange! LOL!
This was hysterical! Loved the point of view. Hope you grow to love your new phone – she sounds a little sassy and might just make a fun friend!
Once we figure out who is really in charge, I think we will get along! Just takes some time . . . I am not YET ready to say “fun”!
Ahhhh late afternoon and as I finish the day, I’m too am smiling at the creative new phone POV… Keep em coming Fran.
Thanks, it was sooooo fun to write! There may yet be another part but not tomorrow!!!!
This is a riot, Fran! I have to get a new phone and have been putting it off for exactly these reasons. Good luck!
Every day is better but it’s still not even close! I just couldn’t stand not having a battery last longer than 3 hours . . . ❤
Such fun! I love the tale from the perspective of the new phone! I was propelled by the humor of the piece. The dry edge of the phone was a hoot!
[…] to my day. Bob told me about his new best friend, Molly shared what’s up with leprechauns, and I even got to hear a story from Fran’s new phone, and for this I thank you! […]