#SOL20: Stoicism

Suffer in silence?

Vivid recollections speed by at lightning speed. Accurate? Probably not. Colored by my perception? Absolutely. An entire year of silence. An entire year of disappointment. An entire year without encouragement. I was afraid to voice my thoughts. Was it fear that “I could make it worse”? Family event after event: not a word. Ignored. Existing in a dessert. Devastated. Lost. How to “fix’ it? I thought suffering in silence was the route. Being stoic. “Sucking it up.” “If you can’t say something nice…” “Take your punishment.” “Time heals all wounds.” So many thoughts swirling. And of course, “it must be my fault.” No words to break the impasse. Life. Time. To confront or not? To break the role to which I had been relegated? To find a voice . . . any voice? Did I deserve the silence as a punishment? A year of silence as a consequence of a divorce. Over three decades later and I’m still wondering if there would have been a different way to end that impasse. What could I have said or done differently? Was the biggest problem lack of communication? Failed expectations? How do we resolve the GAP between our personal perspective and those around us? What if?
Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant. – Seneca, Letters from a Stoic Source Link
The four virtues of stoicism are: courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom. The courage to know when to speak and when not to speak. The wisdom to find the words to bridge the gap. The quest for justice and equity. And in all things temperance – self-control. Not emotion-less but emotion-filled. A dose of stoicism will serve our future leaders. This picture alone marks change.

How can stoicism inform the quality of your life?

Should the virtues of stoicism become your guiding principles?

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2 responses

  1. Sometimes people can be so judgmental without knowing all of the facts or believing just the facts, real or perceived, that they want to believe. Only the person involved knows what is truly going on and only s/he can make a choice.

    1. I have to work at NOT being judgmental so I get that it is hard. Peaceful resolutions sometimes take so much time!

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