Tag Archives: Revision

#SOLSC20: Day 11


Screenshot 2020-03-11 at 7.04.25 AM

Flames

Red tongues leaping skyward

A wall of flames

Directed by the wind,

Steadily moving,

Stealthily moving,

Radiating heat.

A wall of flames stretching toward the house

Charred path behind,

Demanding action,

Fast-paced decisions,

No time for fear,

No time to waste.


Process: I began with this line, “I was greeted by a wall of flames about 40 feet long and 2 feet high on the other side of my driveway yesterday afternoon.” from this post. (Link)

Goal:  Build in more description by bundling standards

CCSS Anchor Writing Standard 4. “Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.”

CCSS Writing 4.3.d. “Use concrete words and phrases and sensory details to convey experiences and events precisely.”

CCSS Language Standard 4.6. “Acquire and use accurately grade-appropriate general academic and domain-specific words and phrases, including those that signal precise actions, emotions, or states of being (e.g., quizzed, whined, stammered) and that are basic to a particular topic (e.g., wildlife, conservation, and endangered when discussing animal preservation).”

Craft:  twin phrases, repetition, specific words

How did this play with poetry add to the description from the original sentence?  How can “notebook play with words and ideas” provide revision practice?            How do you demonstrate/model this?




Thank you, Two Writing Teachers, for this daily forum in March. Check out the writers and readers here.

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#WhyIWrite


typewriter

Why I write:

To think

To reveal

To process

To deepen my understanding

To check my understanding

To analyze my thinking

To share my learning

To wonder

To share

To be a model for teachers and students and

To experience the JOY of a community . . .

Those are some of the reasons I write.

(And as soon as I hit “publish” I will think of at least 10 other “better”reasons that I wish I had thought of during the three days that I worked on this draft!)


Planning

Drafting

Revising

Conferencing

Revising

Publishing

Do these steps look familiar?

But do they match your current reality in your writing?

Do they match your current reality in your writing instruction?

I’ve been spying on my writing for over a year . . . literally in search of patterns that I could identify in my own writing.  Trying to decide on that next big goal for myself – ambitious or “doable”? . . . lofty or practical?

Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as finding a pattern, setting up some demos and “off you go” because writing is complicated.

Steps are added or revised . . .

If I have to stop and research.

If I have to completely scrap my draft because it is really so pathetic.

If I have to continue my “search for a topic”.

If I have to . . .

So here are some resources,

Quite literally, some food for thought!

Because all of these relate to just one simple standard in writing and yet this standard (and its intent) are often overlooked in a search for a priority or a way to reduce/simplify the writing standards!

“CCR. W.5. Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach.”

A previous blog post that connected to this standard is in the 2014 archives here!


Planning

Planning – Where does an idea come from?  – my blog post

Celebrate Celebrating – a blog post from Julieanne Harmatz (grade 5)

Learn by Writing – Lynne Dorfman’s blog post

Helping Students Plan their Writing – a blog post by Melanie Meehan

Using Technology for a Kindergartner’s Writing Process – a blog post by Melanie Meehan


Writing Goals

Introducing a Hierarchy of Writing Goals – a blog post by Jennifer Serravallo

Goal Setting – my blog post


Drafting:  Beginnings  (somewhere – trying more than just one beginning – trying a new approach

21 of the Best Opening Lines in Children’s Books

The Beginning – my blog post

Strong Leads – Jennifer Wagner (2nd grade)

Drafting – Endings

Behind the Books:  The Perfect Ending – blog post by Melissa Stewart

The Ending – my blog post

Drafting – Telling a Story Bit by Bit

Celebrating Story – blog post by Julieanne Harmatz

Drafting – Organization, Elaboration, and Craft

Elaboration Strategies for Information Writing Dig- Two Writing Teachers

Text Structures – blog post by Melissa Stewart

Specific Examples of the Power of Three – Stacey Shubitz

First Graders Get Crafty – Dana Murphy

DigiLit Sunday:  Craft – blog post by Margaret Simon


Revising

Revising as part of the Process – blog post by Melanie Meehan

No Monkeys, No Chocolate: 10 year Revision Timeline – blog post by Melissa Stewart


Editing as a part of publication

Your Turn Lesson:  The Colon – A blog post by Diane and Lynne

Editing Sticks – my blog post

Editing – my blog post

  • Editing stations for upper grades – Shana Frazin informed
  • Daily light editing – Shanna Schwartz informed

Revising or Editing? – my blog post

Fun tool – Eye Finger Puppets (Amazon or craft stores) – Make editing time special and reminds the reader and the writer to pay close attention to the work!

eye finger puppets.PNG


Reading Units of Study Mini-Lessons

MiniLessons are strong invitations to learning! (TCRWP_

Reading and Planning MiniLessons – Rachel Tassler

A Short and Sweet MiniLesson Format – Two Writing Teachers

How to Plan a MiniLesson from Scratch – Two Writing Teachers

There are More Ways than One to Plan a MiniLesson – Two Writing Teachers

How to Read a Unit of Study – Two Writing Teachers


Fundamentals of Writing Workshop – Two Writing Teachers Blog Series August 2017

 

Share Time in Writing Workshop – Lynne Dorfman’s blog

Choice in Writing Workshop – blog post by Tara Smith

(Almost) Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Partnerships I Learned in Kindergarten  – blog post by Shana Frazin


Why I Write – Stenhouse Blog

Writing is Not a Linear Process    


Mentor Texts – Books that would be nice to have as Resources

Craft Moves:  Lesson Sets for Teaching Writing with Mentor Texts – Stacey Shubitz (Stenhouse)

Writers are Readers:  Flipping Reading Instruction into Writing Opportunities – Lester Laminack   (Heinemann)

Mentor Texts:  Teaching Writing Through Children’s Literature  (2nd etition)- Dorfman & Cappelli (Stenhouse)

Learning from Classmates:  Using Student Writing as Mentor Texts –  Lisa Eicholdt  (Heinemann)

What;s Your Plan? 

What are you going to do NEXT?


Today’s best draft, (Kelly Gallager)

this post,

This post I wrote to organize!

#SOL17: Revisor


Tues.PNG

It’s a typical Tuesday morning at my house.  Tuesdays when I draft, revise, and publish my “slice” before work.

It’s time to write my slice on my blog post, but I don’t know what to write.  Where will my idea come from?

I pace from the living room to the kitchen and back again.  “No idea YET!”

I stare out the window.  It’s still dark.  “No idea YET!”

I reread last week’s post.  “Can I write a part two?  No idea YET!”

I stop.  I ask myself, “What did I do this weekend?”

I went to the Homecoming parade.  I went to the game.  I watched the bands (alumni and current) march. I went to watch high school band competition.

I remembered how much I loved marching band when I was in high school and college.

I was so excited.  When I looked at my pictures from the weekend, I had tons of pictures of both my family and the marching bands.  Finally I have an idea.  I know . . . My slice is going to be about how I found my idea . . . and I begin to type.




And, now for the rest of the story . . . 

Paul Harvey story (Part 2)

The story above is the “Prequel” to last week’s post. I used the prequel in a second grade classroom to demonstrate some revisions that the writers could consider to make their writing stronger.

I am quite confident in my “revising” skills.  It is easier for me to say that I am a revisor than to say that I am a writer.  In the midst of writing, I have doubts.  In the midst of revising, I feel like my super powers are engaged.  There’s structure power, elaboration power, and the so important editing/conventions power.

How does that impact my writing?  

How does that impact my instruction?

I believe that my love for revision enables me to be both a more-focused and a more-flexible writing coach.

Here was my first draft of my writing – deliberately designed so I could use it with my second grade friends! A very short three page story

Draft Document

How did I get from my original nine sentences to the final draft (25 sentences) above?

What were my revision points?  

In our narrative mini-lessons these were some of our teaching points:

revision.PNG

What were student writing goals?

Student goals included strong beginning, writing more sentences across pages, or adding more details.

Beginning – Page one – I need to add where and when because I have the who and what.

Middle – I need more details so I decide to have two pages and decide to repeat the “No idea YET!” (page two)  and on page three I leave the first sentence and change the ending.

Ending – I check to make sure that I add details that bring the story full circle.

I use bright neon paper strips or green marker for my revised sections to make the revisions very visible for my readers and writers.

Google Doc- Revised story

This revision basically happened in order:  beginning, middle, and end.  Not all happen to work that way!

Are you a revisor?  

How do you teach revision?  

How do you match revision, instruction,  and goals?

Did you see Betsy’s post yesterday on Revision?  AMAZING! Sticky Notes, Arrows, and Margins, Oh My!




Thank you, Betsy, Beth, Deb, Kathleen, Lanny, Melanie, and Stacey for this weekly forum. Check out the writers, readers and teachers here.                                                                                                                          slice of life 2016

#SOL17: Silver Lake


Where do YOU begin?

Here’s a simple list of words from my writing notebook

Begun with an early morning observation

Sipping coffee

Waking up

At Silver Lake

Some words from the present.

Some from the past.

Some added over time.

words

How does a list evolve?

Grow?

Morph?

What categories would you make?

While waiting for inspiration to strike,

I’ve learned to keep my fingers moving across the keyboard.

Looking for photos

Looking for organization

and word clouds suddenly appeared in my brain.

word cloud oneword cloud twoword cloud threeword cloud fourword cloud five

Changing colors

Changing shapes

Changing colors

Adding a filter.

Using a visual as a stimulus . . .

Ready to write!

One of Those Moments

One of those moments

Etched on my cornea

Burnt into my brain

Captured in my heart

Gray sky

Combinations of clouds

White, thin, wispy

Surrounded by large and fluffy white-topped clouds

With an under girding of gray

Ready for a sprinkle or

Perhaps a shower or

Sheets of rain or

Buckets full pouring from the heavens

Harmony in thoughts shared

Rich in laughter

Engrossed in fun

So much to do!

A boat ride,

Pictionary,

Writing talk,

3 Truths and a Lie, and

Learning to play a ukelele.

Friends

Voxer Cousins

Readers

Writers

Thinkers

Teachers

Students

Bound together by a few moments in time

One of those perfect summer moments!

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June 24 – Silver Lake, MN

How do your thoughts become your ideas?  

What shapes your format?

Where does your organization come from?  

How do you share this process with your students?




Thank you, Betsy, Beth, Deb, Kathleen, Lanny, Lisa, Melanie, and Stacey for this weekly forum. Check out the writers, readers and teachers here.                                                                                                      Process:

My first draft was totally a description – what I saw, heard and felt while outside

But it seemed really boring

And felt like it could be any lake anywhere

So this is Draft Two . . . after some revision!

 

#SOL16: Planning


planning.jpg

Words,

Phrases,

Sentences,

Pictures in my brain

Some clear

Some jumbled . . .

This way or that?

Physically sorting materials,

Ideas,

Charts, and

Lessons.

Mentally sorting . . .

One path visible

One path unseen  .  .  .

How do I know I’m making progress?

It’s too early for product . . .

The fact that I persevere

I continue

More jotting

More drafting

It’s all ugly

Collecting,

Sifting,

Rearranging,

That first draft.

Rewind.

That second draft.

Revise.

Have another go.

Another.

And yet another.

Revision will continue even through that first presentation.

Revision in planning . . .

Revision in drafting . . .

Revision in life . . .

How do you see evidence of your planning and drafting?

How do you allow the time for both the visible and the invisible planning and drafting?

slice of life 2016

Thank you, Betsy, Beth, Dana, Deb, Kathleen, Lisa, Melanie, and Stacey for this weekly forum. Check out the writers, readers and teachers here. 

 

 

#TCRWP Writing: Takeaways Day 2


 

Celena Larkey

Ratchet up the level of your students’ writing by teaching them revision: Tapping into the power of mentor texts and checklists (K-2)

Our 30 minute writing workshop felt like heaven. Time to write, time to think, time to talk with our partners!

“When we revise for meaning, we ask, “What’s this piece for?”  Do I want the reader to feel a certain way? What do I want them to do?  After I figure out that meaning, I scan my writing piece quickly. Any part that doesn’t match, I cross it out with one line. Any part that matches the meaning, BLOW it up ad I make sure that I tell it bit by bit.”

With that, Celena demonstrated in her text, had us read our own pieces and we were off revising. And it felt very comfortable and very doable.

Meaning – Development / Elaboration Strategies

  • Jump into the moment & tuck into details later
  • Make time matter
  • Find heart of mater and add details, thoughts!
  • End in the moment
  • Stretch the moment across the pages!
  • Show don’t tell – use describing words.
  • Make characters talk.
  • Make the characters move – add action words
  • Add feelings
  • Add thinking
  • Find the important part – say more

SHARES

  1. Symphony share.

   Find one revision.

   Put your finger on it.

   Read just that revision for a single share.

 

  1. Museum share.

   Physical revision.

   Walk around and look at the revisions.

   Don’t take work to carpet. Quick.

   Works in primary.

   Can quickly see a variety of types of revisions.

Choosing a Mentor Text

choosing a mentor text

We are using this format to study our mentor text.

Title and Author of Mentor Text

What do we see?

What do we call it?

Why would we use it?

Takeaways:

  1. The standards (CCSS.W.5) can be a guide for revision with vertical teacher conversations about the expectations for each grade level. CL
  2. Revision is not like moving day where the big truck backs up to the door and EVERYTHING is loaded at one time. Choose one lens – meaning and revise. It will take practice. CL
  3. Use teacher written mentor texts to model how to “revise” so students can see the marked up copy. CL
  4. “A tool is only as good as the tinker’s hand in which it is!” CL
  5. Two ways of quickly sharing revisions are symphony or museum shares. CL

Consider: How do we make revision a part of every day’s work?

How and when do teachers study mentor text in order to really KNOW it?

Colleen Cruz

Power Tools, Methods and Strategies:  Access and Support for English Language Learners and Kids with IEPs in the Writing Workshop (4-8)

Tools:   What should students write with?

Is this teacher preference?  Student preference or both?

Write with Pencils Write with Marker / Gel Pen
First problem with volume

Hard to “push” a pencil – slows writer down

Great for sketching

“Are you writing volumes with #2 pencil?

Cannot erase

Edit/ Revise with one line through previous text

Cannot lose data

Flows when writing

What most adults use in real world

(Skills list – draft by genre – not all inclusive)

Narrative Skills (fiction, historical account, personal, etc.)

  • Generate story ideas
  • Structure plot (sequence)
  • Dramatize action
  • Summarize
  • Make meaning evident
  • Develop characters
  • Imbue voice

Information Skills (all about, lecture, article, etc.)

  • Generate topics
  • Structure content
  • Elaborate on information
  • Summarize
  • Develop central idea
  • Imbue voice

Persuasive/Opinion/Argument Skills (essay, lit. essay, speech, editorial, etc.)

  • Generate ideas/opinions/arguments
  • Structure piece
  • Support with evidence and reasons
  • Summarize
  • Prove thesis/idea/opinion
  • Imbue voice

Takeaways:

  1. A skill is cooking; a strategy is the way you do it (boil, bake, fry, sear, broil, etc.) CC
  2. Skill? Strategy? Leads could be both – just like a square can be a rectangle! CC
  3. “I have to write a novel.  Where is my #2 pencil?” says NO published author ever!  CC
  4. Consider the physical demands on writing when a student uses pencil vs. pen. CC
  5. Make decisions about organization of notebook based on what students need and less on what is neat and tidy for the teacher. (If the organization  of the notebook is a constant battle to get students to do it, are there more options / possibilities?) CC

To consider:  Is the big question – Is this a skill or a strategy? Or is the big question – What can the student do over time in multiple pieces and with multiple genres?

How do we teach for transfer?

Closing Session

Mary Ehrenworth – Studying Mentor Texts for Possible Small Group Lessons – Read like a teacher of writing, considering:

Structure

Craft

Conventions

What is the rationale for using mentor texts?

  1. Even in the Units of Study in 18-20 days, you can only teach about 6 new things.
  2. Mentor Texts – so you aren’t the only source of information about narrative writing.
  3. Mentor Text – opens up to 3-12 other things kids can be exposed to.
  4. Don’t wait until they are GOOD at it – not waiting for this work to be perfect!
  5. Mentor Text is important. Study.  Incubation period may be long. You may not get the benefit of student learning this year.

Mary began with a demonstration text, “Brave Irene” and showed us how to look at Structure  in terms of a movement of time. If it starts right away in one moment, when does time change? And then we did the same work in “Fly Away Home”.

Strong writers in small groups:

  • Find things.
  • Name them.
  • Are they repeated?
  • How would that work in our text?

Process that we used:

  1. Come to any text that we have and ask any questions by looking for most accessible text.
  2. Visual cues and language for a tool to help students. . . academic discourse.
  3. Sometimes I will do this work in video – engaging
  4. I try to demonstrate in my own writing – in the air.

 

Takeaways:

  1. Teacher “shows” mentor text but doesn’t try it out is often the biggest problem with mentor texts.
  2. The teacher must know the mentor text very well.
  3. Students can make decisions about what to look for in mentor texts when the author’s repetition of structure, craft, or conventions is used.
  4. Mentor texts are the best way to study grammar “like an author”.
  5. Use of mentor texts should be engaging – and that might be why you consider video.

To consider: What if students were in charge of more “noticing” and determining what can be found in mentor text?

Is this the reciprocity that you would get from reading workshop?

 

Closing Keynote

Ralph Fletcher

Rethinking Mentor Text

Ralph Fletcher began with sharing letters from students, quotes from authors and many “craft” moves in the mentor texts. He also had us write during his keynote speech.

Using Ralph Fletcher’s mentor text, “The Good Old Days”, (keeping first and last stanzas), here is what I wrote:

The Good Old Days

Sometimes I remember

the good old days

 

Riding bikes on Sundays

Playing baseball games in the evenings

 

A carefree family life

Living on the farm

 

I can’t imagine

Anything better than that.

10 Tips for Using Mentor Texts to Teach Writing

  1. Read what we love ourselves
  2. Take advantage of “micro-texts” that can be read in one sitting (Picture Books, Poems, Paragraphs)
  3. Talk about the author behind the book. What itch made them write that story?
  4. Don’t interrupt the first reading of a text
  5. Leave time for natural holistic responses
  6. Reread for craft
  7. Design a spiral of Mini-Lessons that cycle back to teach craft
  8. Use the Share to reinforce the craft lesson from the Teaching Point – showing students in the class who did the craft move in their writing
  9. Invite (don’t assign) students to experiment with craft element
  10. Be patient – The student may not be able to do the craft this year but instruction was not in vain.

Bonus Tip – Don’t kill the book!

Take Aways:

  1. Understand Means “To stand under”
  2. A writer MUST read!
  3. Mentor texts are available everywhere!
  4. There are many places to start but these institutes grow you personally and mentor texts will grow your classroom.
  5. Collect a lot of writing, including student writing, for mentor text use.

To consider:  What if more teachers were writing?  What supports do readers need in order to be better writers?

THANKS, Readers!

 

Writing: Planning, Revising, Editing, Rewriting, or Trying a New Approach (CCR. W.5)


If you are in a Common Core state, you may already have digested this standard:

“CCR. W.5. Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach.”

 

If you are still trying to figure out what it means for you as the teacher (instruction) or for the students (learning) or even to real-life authors, you need to check out Kate Messner’s book:  Real Revision –  Authors’ Strategies to Share with Student Writers.

Why?

It’s written by a REAL teacher who is also a REAL author who has REAL practical, crystal clear examples.  You can preview parts of the book online here at Stenhouse!

Not convinced?

Here is the Table of Contents:

Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter 1: Real Revision: Where Stories Start to Sing
Chapter 2: Creating a Revision-Friendly Classroom
Chapter 3: The Elephant in the Room (And It’s Ticking Away the Minutes!)
Chapter 4: Back to Brainstorming
Chapter 5: Real Authors Don’t Plan . . . Or Do They?
Chapter 6: Big-Picture Revision
Chapter 7: Returning to Research
Chapter 8: Magic in the Details
Chapter 9: Are the People Real?
Chapter 10: Whose Voice Is It Anyway?
Chapter 11: The Words We Choose
Chapter 12: Cut! Cut! Cut!
Chapter 13: Talking It Out
Chapter 14: Clean Up: The Copyediting Process
Chapter 15: What If the Writing Is Already Good?
Chapter 16: Technology Tools of the Trade
Chapter 17: The Revision Classroom, Revisited
Appendix
Resources
Index

What grade levels would benefit from this text?

This book is listed for grades 3-9, but it could work at any grade with some thoughtful planning by the teacher. The copyright is 2011 but the strategies will withstand time!

Check it out!
Remember:
“When you’re done, you’ve just begun!”   – Lucy Calkins

Preview here.

Image

Example:

Chapter 6 “Big Picture Revision”

“Revise for:

    • theme – What is this piece really about?
    • seeing the forest instead of the trees  – Create a “to-do” list
    • reading to revise – listen to the piece; how does it sound?”

 

And then how is this supported by what this first grader revises here in “Austin’s Butterfly”

and what Lucy Calkins says here in “Being a Good Writer”?

 

Have you read this?  What did you think?
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