Red tongues leaping skyward
A wall of flames
Directed by the wind,
A wall of flames stretching toward the house
Charred path behind,
No time for fear,
No time to waste.
Process: I began with this line, “I was greeted by a wall of flames about 40 feet long and 2 feet high on the other side of my driveway yesterday afternoon.” from this post. (Link)
Goal: Build in more description by bundling standards
CCSS Anchor Writing Standard 4. “Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.”
CCSS Writing 4.3.d. “Use concrete words and phrases and sensory details to convey experiences and events precisely.”
CCSS Language Standard 4.6. “Acquire and use accurately grade-appropriate general academic and domain-specific words and phrases, including those that signal precise actions, emotions, or states of being (e.g., quizzed, whined, stammered) and that are basic to a particular topic (e.g., wildlife, conservation, and endangered when discussing animal preservation).”
Craft: twin phrases, repetition, specific words
How did this play with poetry add to the description from the original sentence? How can “notebook play with words and ideas” provide revision practice? How do you demonstrate/model this?
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers, for this daily forum in March. Check out the writers and readers here.
“No time for fear,
No time to waste.”
This a strong, good poem whose urgency adds to the drama at the turn. I like reading the process as well.
Thanks! I am considering adding some brief poetry within all my demonstrations of craft the rest of this year. This is a great opportunity to practice!
“Directed by the wind, Steadily moving, Stealthily moving,” to me this shows that we are at the mercy of a force we have no control over. There is no time to think because action must be taken.
Thanks! I like the way it sounded when I read steadily and stealthily out loud! And yes! Time was at a premium!
You certainly met your goal. Incredible and scary.
Thanks. It was scary for sure but there was definitely an element of “lack of time” to panic! 🙂